Iwona On September 11, 2001, a series of terrorist attacks took place in the USA, under which Al-Qaida proudly signed. Two towers collapsed, and in their place the so-called zero zone was created. Graveyard, Wailing Wall? Not at all.
The then mayor of New York, Rudolph Giuliani, announced the development of the place, saying: We will get out of this stronger!
How different is the attitude from the one that began to creep into so-called Western societies and prevailed in them for good – the attitude of the victim.
Do you know people who made the grave of their bad experiences, mistakes, disappointments, worries, tragedies and did not leave the cemetery, just sat comfortably around the grave and mourn what is buried today?
You can have such a person around you. It is difficult to help them, because they put out any attempt to help with slogans like: Yes, but … It may be effective for someone else, my situation is completely different …
This position of the victim is also called learned helplessness. Such people seem to look for solutions for a long time, but it ends only with confessing their difficulties and quitting: I will never succeed … But it’s not for me … Even if they go to a therapist, they want to complain. After which they are still stuck in a sense of hopelessness, blaming the circumstances, certain features of their character, other people, God.
And unfortunately, others often benefit from it.
Hillary Clinton, presidential candidate, addressed the black people with these words: You are oppressed, you are victims, and I am with you (I will help you)! Some years after racial persecution, when the Black living in the United States had time to get back on their feet, take advantage of the whole 'blessing’ of a free country and the belief that if you make your bed, you will lie in it, regardless of who you are, they are infantilised again as victims of society and system.
Unfortunately, today, many Indians living in the United States cannot get back together – they include the highest percentage of alcoholics and suicides. They do not have to live in the reserves, and they behave as if they could not move from them. They have the identity of the victim.
You could talk a lot about American examples, but I will leave it for the next posts. Poland is not free from the worship of the victim, who no longer focuses only on such small plots as the immediate surroundings, but goes out onto the streets. But from the beginning.
Who is the victim?
He or she certainly isn’t …. a victim, but (s)he is considered to be such. Something could have happened in his/her life that was difficult, even traumatic, and (s)he stayed there. Suppose she had a difficult childhood. Although (s)he is 30 years old, still sees the imprint of his/her childhood in his/her life failures. This is why at work (s)he is overlooked, has no friends and no successful relationship. Mother and father are guilty of who (s)he is now and who (s)he cannot be.
In fact, such a person limits himself because it is easier to throw responsibility on someone else, on SOMETHING outside, than to take matters into their own hands. Take a chance, take action, move forward and do not look back. However, they’re still convinced that their past has more „power” than the present.
The victim runs away from life challenges, development, and facing a world that is not, has never been and will not be perfect tomorrow (in fact, so what?). (s)he prefers to give control to external factors. You can be afraid of losing control, but you can also be afraid to have it and a person with the identity of the victim is afraid to take responsibility, because (s)he does not believe in changes that could lead to his/her own life. (S)he constantly blames the OTHERS – others are guilty of her/his misery, ineptitude, others limit her/his, because if there were no „others”, what would (s)he do! Who would (s)he be!
The role of the victim annoys me especially, because it is an attitude that I never gave up. I just find it humiliating. It denied the attitude of dignity and honor that I value so much.
I have confessed once that I had not had the happiest childhood, but I never thought that I was making the wrong decisions because of it, I am more uphill than others and because of this something more, anything! I deserve that others should understand me and that OTHERS owe me at all; what I have, what I don’t have, who I am, who I am not. I took the helm of my ship completely and entered the waters that I liked.
No one is guilty if I am not satisfied with something in my life except myself. Nay! Actually, I am grateful for what I had no influence on myself, because I believe that it shaped and strengthened me, created many positive qualities and skills in me.
Meanwhile, being a victim is increasingly socially rewarded, which makes people with a sense of being a victim (I still claim that there are no people – victims) feel comfortable, protected, accepted, live in complete stagnation and still think that this is normal. I just wonder what thoughts will they have at the end of life?
The USA is a breeding ground for 'victims’. It’s easy to hear about them there because of the diverse specifics of society and some sad features in history.
If you’ve ever heard the phrase that it’s best to be a white, heterosexual man you can imagine that the worst option is a black homosexual woman! But not only. Black people, women, homosexuals. Let’s stop at the latter. Because when it comes to Polish realities, in fact no one in Poland cries out loud like homosexuals and feminists chanting on behalf of many victims.
Attorneys
It turns out that in the new version of the world he is not the hero who manages his adversities in his own way, but who hides behind the back of THOSE whom he calls to do his business. This lawyer is the government, local government, law enforcement agencies.
In a culture of dignity and honor, a single person does not want the state to interfere in his private affairs. In this new „culture” people go to complain to power and want others to fight for them. While this is completely understandable in the case of children, adults makes … childish. And infantilises.
Unfortunately, the majority of those who care about listening (read: voters) find a niche like Hillary Clinton then, uniting with this crowd of „victims” who, of course, only (s)he can save. Hey, you don’t have to. Jesus has already done this once and for all. No one has to be a victim anymore.
#MeNot
Do you remember the MeToo action? Suddenly, from all this Mordor, which is Hollywood, tear-clear women began to emerge, who a year ago or thirty years ago were sexually abused by a man and now they remember it. I would be ashamed.
Yes, I can already feel some people’s curses on my monitor. I hope that everyone reading this text is aware that I am against violence – whether physical or mental, whatever. I wrote that I would be ashamed to announce it publicly, because I would again have to stand in this place with the inscription „the victim.”
And that would probably mean that this identity of the victim sits in me for so long, and that I have not done anything about it for twenty years – that I did not even study this topic with a good therapist. Will you agree that it is different to go to the police to stop and punish the perpetrator, and what else is to publicly declare your harm and dabbling in it for years?
When a person assumes the identity of the victim, he never leaves this loop. It just doesn’t end – it remains a victim forever. Regardless of what other people evoke for him, what rights, privileges he will have, in his mind he will remain a victim, a dependent person.
I read a little about the #MeToo movement and I don’t want to take a closer look at the motivation of each of these people, because I don’t know them, but speaking of a closed circle before, I’m thinking of Asia Argento, who as one of the main figures of this movement publicly accused Harness Weinstein of harassment, and in turn for the same, accused Jimmy Bennett, to whom she paid a certain amount as part of the settlement.
A matter to think about
There are Poles among us, Christians who, like the Jews, celebrate the Sabbath. This means, among other things, that they do not work from sunset on Friday to sunset on Saturday. I used to be one of them. As you can easily guess, they are also people who need money for their lives, so they engage in different jobs, and the standard thing is that in many places they are sent back with a pass – the reason is just a free Saturday. I myself have often been in a situation where they have already wanted to hire me, SADLY – work on Saturday, we are sorry, we cannot give you a job. The same happened to dozens of my friends. What did we do, we kept looking for a job.
Yes, we belonged to a minority in Catholic Poland. And we understood that. We weren’t worse, we didn’t feel that way, it just works like the state, so does capitalism, free market – and it would be bad if we were employed only because we are a minority calling for help.
I don’t remember anyone bringing a case to court or marching the streets of larger cities.
Of course, paying attention to us would solve many of our problems, but I personally would feel like a stomping child, who someone finally gave a lollipop for a sake of peace.
And today we are observing thoughtlessly meeting badly understood equality and the desire to do well to everyone, of course, in accordance with their own benefits (e.g. political correctness, desire to avoid conflicts), and therefore in Norway the effect of golden skirts (i.e. women employed in given positions only by sex) in Hollywood forced Oscars for black filmmakers. And let’s stop at black people whom I love exactly the same like any other God’s creation.
Will anyone be surprised to find that the United States is currently dealing with something like reverse racism? I will give an example. American director Jordan Peele has stated that he will not employ white actors in his films, because he does not see such a need, besides „such films have already seen.” Now imagine that such a ruling is issued by Steven Spielberg or James Cameron in relation to black actors …
It never occurred to me to blame anyone for the difficult situations in my life – it was my business and I did not call „Help me to live!”, „I want to have as much as my neighbor!” I wasn’t even sad because of that, because I put all my trust and hope in God, according to the words „If God is with us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31).
If you are sure that God is with you because you are a man according to His heart – do not be afraid. He will provide you with everything you need. He also took over the role of the victim once and for all – for you.
However, if you have doubts – turn to Him today and then consciously decide to change your way of thinking. First of all about you. Take on a new identity and it won’t be the one you hide behind, but one that will help you get out into the world and let yourself be free to live a life full of action, satisfaction and responsibility – nothing tastes so good.
Bless you all!
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