Iwona Do you know why some drivers park their cars so they occupy two parking spaces? Why there are people who litter the forests, abandon the animals? Why a man hides his resentment, seeks revenge, embraces a mindset ‘tit for tat’ …?
Egocentricity does many things to man – above all it makes him extremely predictable. If I have to deal with a man who has been imprinted, he actually always behaves predictably, according to Pavlov’s scheme. Examples from life:
– The driver took the road to a Character. The Character brakes with impetus and then crashes in the direction of the driver’s throats.
– A sister-in-law forgot about a Character’s birthday. The Character will also „forget” about the sister-in-law birthday.
This is how the world turns and when someone breaks the vicious circle, everybody do „Wow” and call him a hero.
Other symptoms of egocentricity are:
– For years, a Character hides a grudge against parents for a bad childhood.
– Mother-in-law refuses her daughter –in- law right to … refusal.
– A Character daily pays close attention to his/her appearance, as the indicator of her/his success in personal life.
– ‘Kippers and curtains’ culture as honor guest of occasional events; What „others” say is a priority.
– A dog, abandoned before a holiday; 7-day comfort of a Character related to going on vacation is at the center of his desires.
– A Character has a 'victim’ identity and does not want to resign.
– Abandoning a spouse with words> I have the right to fulfill my dreams<
– Fight for the child during divorce.
– Man maintains sexual relationships with two women; „Cannot” choose any of them.
– A Character becomes a religious person; he/she wants to do for God as much as possible, still devises „tasks” for better oneself.
And King Solomon was based on people’s egocentricity . Do you remember the quarrel of two women about the newborn baby? Both women claimed that the baby belonged to her. King Solomon ordered to share the child so that each woman would receive her share. Then one of them gave up on herself and her desires. She was guided by the good of the child. She chose the opposite of selfishness – love.
In fact, most of the pretensions we have to other people are due to egocentricity. We expect someone to do something for us that will think of us, will take into account our situation, will turn out to be selfless, will choose us instead of him/herself. It’s a mistake. Why should others choose our good instead of theirs? Nobody taught them. Like us, to expect nothing.
Children are taught to give up something for the good of someone else, to share, but they’re never told FOR WHAT. And here the most important factor is the motive.
Egoism always wins with works, but always loses with love. We need diving in love.
Nothing occupies so much space between man and God as the egocentrism of the first. It was actually egocentrism that separated man from God and made Lucifer Satan.
When man was still with God, he had His glory. The moment he lost it by the trick he had fallen into, he began to seek his own; Man began to generate his own value based on his accomplishments, his attitudes, his strength; he converted the perfect glory of God to human moments of glory. And it’s still up to today. That is why it is difficult for him to accept grace and forgiveness. It is difficult for him to return to God – there is a huge obstacle on the way with the word EGO. Over time it is getting harder, because we live in a culture of self-indulgence, and we do not want to incur any expense, no sacrifice, maybe compromise sometimes.
God wants all of you. Not ideal – but you yourself – in 100%. For what? To love. And this love changes and makes it possible to collaborate with you in many fields. And some fear it – they are afraid to give up their ego.
On selfishness and abandonment it is good to write, especially as I do; Sitting in a room with a soothing view of the forest, next to green tea, the air conditioner gives me comfortable writing conditions. Nobody wants anything from me, I do not have to confront anyone. But believe me, I do not like all this sweet jibber-jabbering, a philosophy that has nothing to do with reality.
In my relationship with Jah I came to the point when I asked Him to completely remove selfishness, egocentrism. I knew that it I would change me, my acting; In complete freedom. For a test I did not have to wait long.
What do you do in this situation?
You are abroad. Your colleague has promised you to stay overnight so that you will not be late for the plane in the morning. You planned your entire stay, and two days before she tells you that she has decided to go to a family earlier and that … you have to arrange somehow for this night. What are you doing?
A) You are angry and have a fight
B) You are mortally insulted
C) You remind her of what she has promised you and demanded clarification and change of plans
D) You say „No problem!” And you sit down at the computer looking for something on your booking. ?
You know what i did? How do you think?
First, once again, I’ll give a name of what egocentrism does to a man:
- It does not know satisfaction.
- Gives the identity of the victim („I am aggrieved, they make me angry”, „Everyone is against me”)
- Generates fear.
- Makes the person succumb to his desires, indulges himself.
- Builds high expectations towards the others. And equally frequent disappointments.
- Egocentrism counts for a reward.
- Man has a problem in surrendering to God, accepting grace.
The self-centeredness of the believer
As I mentioned, egocentrism is also the domain of religious people; Count for approval, reward, judge and compare; You start to belong to a church and the race starts: Oh, I already do it, and you have not yet / I have no problem with that, and others have! (…)
I always have such a small suggestion when a believer asks what to pray for. It will never hurt to pray for Christ to live in you. In 100%. Then you will stop hurting yourself and others.
I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.(Galatians 2,20)
That’s the point in Christianity; Not about DOING something but about BEING. To recover the glory of God and righteousness in Jesus. To allow Jesus Christ to dwell in you and to be your voice; About walking around with that voice. Such a voice:
– does not judge
– does not force you to do anything
– does not punish
– loves and the only thing He wants you to generate is love. True love, far from selfishness.
Healthy selfishness?
We are usually afraid of leaving self-centeredness. We have a vision that other people will dominate us that we will not be counted on, that others will start to see us as suckers, submissive, that we will lose.
Do you remember the text about loving yourself? Leaving selfishness does not mean constant struggle with yourself. It begins with the experience of God’s love for us and allow Him to act in us, first by teaching us how to love ourselves.
Do you want to know how I responded to the challenge of selfishness? See answer „C”. And earlier “A”. Yes. I just failed. And no: I had no right to demand, expect, rely on assurance. Suddenly, my plans collapsed and my colleague, whose decision shook my yeah.. … comfort zone: -)
If my colleague had declared herself as a believer in God, I might even have reminded her of Bible texts about promising and breaking promises. But at that moment, my „injustice” overwhelmed me at all sober thinking; I placed myself in the center of the universe that is just suffering!
But there is a happyend: -) “D”. All this situation I started to see totally from the distance about an hour. And my selfish attitude came to me. Roles turned away. An hour before she was in my eyes an example of selfishness. But in fact it was me. And only me.
That was my lesson. Of course I apologized that girl even though she did not expect it at all because she did not see the problem at all. According to her, she behaved completely fair and normal! : -)
And I’m really grateful that I did not cherish the sense of hurt and God knows what else : -) I feel free. And I want such tests and I want my Father to pluck my selfishness – that only He will remain. There will be total love and freedom.
Want to see what’s out of your ego? Take such a request to God. You can use similar words:
God I want you to dump my ego with your person, I want you to live in me. Amen.
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